If you’ve been looking for a psychologist, you’ve probably seen the word neuroaffirming around. A new national Code of Conduct for psychologists came into effect on 1 December 2025, and respectful, individualised care is rightly receiving more attention. The word neuroaffirming has been used a lot too, which I love to see, though it isn’t always explained. Here’s what it means to me, in practice.
What neuroaffirming psychology is
Neuroaffirming practice starts from a simple idea: neurodivergent ways of thinking are natural variations in how human minds work. They’re not disorders to be corrected, and they’re not a set of problems to be managed away.
The word neurodiversity emerged from autistic community conversations in the late 1990s and is often associated with Australian sociologist Judy Singer. It has shaped how many clinicians, researchers, and neurodivergent people understand the difference between a brain that works differently and a brain that is broken. Neuroaffirming practice takes that idea into the therapy room.
In practice, it means:
- Neurodivergence is understood, not treated as the problem.We look at how someone’s brain works, including their sensory processing, attention, communication, and emotional experience, before deciding what might help.
- Difficulties are understood in context.Many struggles come from the gap between a brain and an environment that wasn’t built for it, as well as from the challenges a person is carrying.
- You set the goals.Support is shaped around what matters to you, not around how “typical” you appear.
- Language follows your lead.I use identity-first language (autistic person, ADHDer) as a starting point, and I’m glad to use whatever words feel right to you.
Why it matters
Many neurodivergent people spend years learning to mask: hiding their natural responses, forcing eye contact, rehearsing conversations, suppressing stimming, and performing to standards that don’t fit them. This can look like coping, and it often works for a while. Research has linked long-term masking with exhaustion, burnout, and poorer mental health.
Many of the things that bring people to therapy, such as anxiety, perfectionism, shutdown, and self-criticism, began as ways of keeping themselves safe in a world that didn’t make room for them. They made sense at the time. A therapy that treats those responses as faults to be removed can leave people feeling more criticised and less understood.
Neuroaffirming therapy begins with understanding why those responses developed, because change tends to last when it comes from understanding and self-trust, rather than from pushing harder.
How it differs from earlier approaches
Earlier understandings of neurodivergence, especially autism and ADHD, were mostly built from the outside: observing behaviour and aiming to reduce the differences that others found difficult. Some of that thinking led to approaches where success meant looking more typical.
While these approaches were not necessarily developed in bad faith, we now have a better way of understanding. Neuroaffirming practice has grown out of newer research and, importantly, out of what neurodivergent people themselves have said about their own experience.
One example is the double empathy problem, a concept developed by autistic researcher Damian Milton. It suggests that misunderstandings between autistic and non-autistic people go both ways, rather than being a deficit sitting only on one side.
| Earlier question | Neuroaffirming question |
|---|---|
| How do we reduce this behaviour? | What is this behaviour telling us? |
| How do we help you fit in? | How do we help you understand yourself and shape life around your needs? |
| What’s wrong? | What has your brain been trying to do, what’s helping, and what’s becoming costly? |
What it isn’t
Neuroaffirming doesn’t mean “anything goes” or that you won’t build new skills. Many people want practical tools for anxiety, emotional overwhelm, relationships, or work, and therapy is a good place to build them. It also doesn’t mean ignoring things that are hurting.
The difference is who decides what needs to change, and why. We build skills that support your goals and wellbeing, not skills for hiding who you are.
What this looks like in my work
- I take time to understand how your brain and nervous system work before suggesting anything.
- Sessions are paced thoughtfully and adapted to how you communicate, process, and learn.
- I draw on compassion-focused therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and adapted cognitive behavioural approaches, always shaped around the person in front of me.
- For children and teenagers, I work alongside parents and caregivers, so support makes sense at home and at school too.
- You don’t need a diagnosis to begin. Many people come while still working out what fits.